Halloween Costume Idea: Dr. Sweetooth

posted on 7/22/13


Coming from a long line of noble dentists, it is no surprise that Dr. Sweetooth entered the family business of oral health. All the children love Dr. Sweetooth because he’s not like the other dentists. While most dentists will tell you to stay away from candy and soda, Dr. Sweetooth says “You only live once!”. He not only condones the consumption of sugary treats, he actively promotes it. For this reason, the most popular dentist in town has a never-ending stream of patients filling his waiting room, and his wallet.

Ever the capitalist, Dr. Sweetooth has been hard at work developing a personal brand of saccharine oral hygiene products. Much to the delight of his candy-loving customer base, drugstores across the nation have begun stocking the shelves with the Dr. Sweetooth Candy Coated Toothpaste collection, which comes in several flavors including Glitter Berry Crunch, Double Chocolate Dream, and Licorice Mouth Sex. The public demand for these gourmet creations has far surpassed the supply, causing vicious slap fights to break out in toothpaste aisles across the nation.

Not surprisingly, Dr. Sweetooth has struck up a beautiful friendship with another medical professional. His closest friend, Dr. Lardbottom, is a general practitioner who specializes in the treatment of diabetes. The pair often refer patients to each other and gossip incessantly about the inner lives of these medically insured individuals. If there is one thing Dr. Sweetooth loves more than nectarous confections, it is unrestrained prattling about other people’s personal shortcomings. For his part, Dr. Lardbottom dreams of the day when his dentist companion will see him as more than a friend. Although his hints at amorous longing have gone purposefully ignored by Dr. Sweetooth, this does not stop Dr. Lardbottom’s hope from being kept alive.

But alas, romance is the farthest thing from Dr. Sweetooth’s troubled mind. Behind the shiny, sticky veneer that he presents to the world, Dr. Sweetooth hides some very dark fantasies and twisted habits. In his home, the beloved dentist has amassed a large collection of rotten teeth that he has pulled from hundreds of patients over the years. He calls this treasure trove of decayed bicuspids and incisors his “cavity garden”. Tenderly running his fingers over the small black holes in each tooth, Dr. Sweetooth smiles and inhales deeply as though he were holding a bouquet of fresh cut roses. Like any dedicated caretaker, Dr. Sweetooth works hard to fertilize his patients’ mouths with sugar and watch as his flowers grow.

Share this...
Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


CommentLuv badge